"Do I look fat to you?"

So I have been married less than 6 months and it happened. My beautiful wife came up to me as we were getting ready to go out and said "Do I look fat to you?" And, no, she is not pregnant.

I had heard the stories and there must 100 different sitcom variations on this, but I still was flabbergasted that MY wife would ask this question.

And of course being the guy that I am, I could not think of any of the many diplomatic responses I had been given. They range from "No, honey, you look fabulous" to "How would you like me to answer that question?" to "No more so than a beached whale" -- hoping the latter will produce a smile. I just gave my dumb look.

Which brings to me a great article that my sister-in-law sent to me about animal training. It is called L.R.S (Least Re-inforcing Syndrome). Basically, what it means is that when someone, I mean when an animal, does something which you don't want them to do, don't react. Most likely the person or animal will not do this again as it gets no reaction.

Given that perhaps my dumb look was not so dumb after all.

Best Advice I Have Ever Received

Best advice which I have ever received is "You are going to f*&^-up, so it is not matter of f*&^ing up, but what are you going to do when you do." It is similar to the commercial that says "Michael Jordan took the winning shot 39 times -- and missed." Everyone makes mistakes, life is about learning and moving forward.

Racing Cars -- Men and Competition

This morning during my commute, I probably nearly caused an accident.

Of course, it wasn't my fault. The guy in the Volvo cut me off first, but then the race was on. As we weaved through traffic onto the highway and he gave me the one-fingered salute several times, I could feel the adrenalin rush. This was so much better than coffee in terms of a morning kick start.

After the race - not sure if he won or I did - I realized how much of a high competition is for me. And that it makes me feel young. Over the years, I feel like I have put too much emphasis on "working together" and "being a team player". And, perhaps, realizing that I will not be the greatest tennis player or golfer or even an "average" player, I lost interest.

Moreover, I always worried about the other person being hurt by losing. I have seen very well-mannered people lose it when they lose. Not wanting to cause the hurt, I would rather lose.

But now I realize that this is disrepesctful to my competitor. I am playing on their side of the net so to speak. So, let the competition begin!!

Balance: Is it for you?

I hear a lot of talk about balance and its importance. I cannot help wondering if balance is really always desirable and useful.

For example, often a "balanced diet" is recommended, but I know people who have improved their health immensely by becoming vegetarians. This is not very balanced between meat and vegetables.

I imagine that Tiger Woods life is not "balanced" between playing golf and other sports and other parts of his life. I understand that over the course ofhis life, the time which he spends on different aspects of his life may be more balance -- if he lives to 80.

My point is that, for many of us, balance may provide us certain level of comfort and security because it is unlikely that all parts of our life are going to be complete disasters. And this keeps us happy.

However, I admire those who lead "unbalanced" lives. They focus on something completely and often achieve great success -- and spectacular failures. I remember listening to an Olympic skier talk about how for the 2-3 years before the Olympics, he did not open mail, see movies, talk to their families, etc. That's dedication and perhaps, insanity. BTW, he didn't win a medal.

Finally, I consider being married to be "unbalanced". I imagine there are men who are able to balance being single and married at the same time, but I am definitely not one of them.

Just do it

It is interesting that it is beginning of a new year and yet within the last 6 hrs. I have spoken to several people who have or are attending funerals. A former president who was 93 just passed a way and is being mourned. A Red Sox fan who was 112 just passed away. And yet the CEO of Earthlink died at the age 49. We do not know when we will go, but we will go.

Death is a sad unfortunate part of life, but necessary. It is a reminder that we do not have infinite amount of time, although it may seem that way sometimes -- especially at work.

For me that is again considering what are my values, what do I want to be doing, am I having fun, what is makes my life meaningful. One of my New Year's resolutions is to be in a hurry, don't settle and focus on what is important to me.

So in the words of Nike and a good friend: "Just do it"